Lets all laugh at the bands I like.....

So my friend Robyn wants me to answer some question about my music taste... which is obviously because it's so great and not at all because she wants to laugh at me. I don't see anything wrong with the fact that I love Mcfly, The Killers and (not even that secretly...) Kanye West, along with the Arctic Monkeys, Biffy Clyro and Nirvana. I'm just all about encouraging diversity... mainly on my iPod, and yes, I did just put it on shuffle and the first song that came on was Starlight, by Taylor Swift. What do you mean you don't like that song...?!?!

Anyway...

Which bands/artist do you own the most albums by?
I own everything recorded by The Killers and I think all the Biffy Clyro albums as well. I also have a whole lot of Taylor Swift OF COURSE. As well as that I have tons of my dad's music - so basically a lot of Oasis and Bruce Springsteen albums. I told you it was diverse...

What was the last song you listened to?
I'm writing this while watching the Gilmore Girls, but the last thing I listened to was either Vampire Weekend's album Modern Vampires of the City, Boys in Books, by Carrie Hope Fletcher or a band called Moose Blood that I discovered the other day. Someone I follow on twitter posted a song by them and I listened and fell in love with the lyrics....

I guess I'll never know why you closed the window,
Start reading Hemingway, start drinking cups of Earl Grey
then I guess maybe one day.. I'll be yours forever....

What’s in your CD player right now?
I don't have a CD player anymore - who does?! - but I used to and I miss it to be honest. I still own loads of CDs and mostly I just cut up the sleeves to add to my wall of posters and tickets. The last thing I played from my iPod speakers was The Velvet Underground & Nico's debut album, from 1967.

What was the last show you attended?
The last concert I saw was Biffy Clyro who played a show in my town at G-live on October 28th. It was amazing, the band were incredible, the crowd were insane, I crowd surfed for the second time and basically just had a great night. They are such an good band live, definitely see them if you ever get a chance to.

What was the greatest show you’ve ever been to?
That's a really hard question because every show I've been to was amazing at the time. I think the best one ever was when I saw The Killers at the O2 in 2012 with my best friend. My mum came to it with us - because we share our amazing taste in bands - and her dad bought us the tickets and I have honestly never been so excited for anything in my life. We had seats right up high but even though the arena is huge, the atmosphere was fantastic. We screamed and danced to every song and even though the tour was for their Battle Born album, they played tons of their old stuff and loads of my favourite songs. I think they started with Mr Brightside and from start to finish it was the loudest show I've ever seen, despite how far away we were. In fact I think my ears are still ringing just thinking about it. I'm wearing the tour t-shirt right now. Okay, definitely the best show I've seen. A close second was when I went to Mcfly, I'm not joking: I laughed, I cried, I danced and it was fab.

 
What’s the worst show you’ve ever been to?
Hmm, its either the time I ended up seeing a really terrible scream band for reasons I do not remember, possibly temporary insanity. Anyway it was awful and we ended up leaving mid-way through... trust me, we didn't miss much. Or it was one of the various shows I've seen with my family at the music festival in the tiny town where my grandparents live. Think of granddads with beards and banjos, and although its fun to go and see my cousins and go to the beach, its not exactly my idea of musical heaven.

What’s the most musically involved you have ever been?
I used to do dance and performing arts (before I became a teenager and realised I should never be seen singing in public EVER) and we used to do loads of shows and at the time it was really fun. I was in Annie as a little orphan kid, a show called "Simply The Best!" (don't even ask..) and one for my dance school's 25th anniversary celebration. Try not to laugh too much but one time we had to wear clown outfits.... while singing. I know, I know, I was like twelve at the time, its all in the past.

What show are you looking forward to?
I'm just about dying of excitement to see Taylor Swift in February on the Red Tour. I'm planning on buying a t-shirt, a poster, any other merch I can get my hands on, dancing like a crazy fan-girl, taking a million and one pictures, completely freaking out and singing along to every song.

What is your favourite band shirt?
Either my Killers t-shirt which is beautiful and really soft and lovely or my gorgeous new Twin Atlantic t-shirt. I have a thing for Scottish bands at the moment and I saw them at Reading Festival this year. They did a really good set, despite it being a bit rainy and I ordered the t-shirt online, rather than spend my train fare home buying it at the festival, although trust me, I was tempted to. The only other one I have is Nirvana, but its too big for me and doesn't have memories attached to it of actually experiencing the band. It is pretty though!

What musician would you like to hang out with for a day?
I would love love love to meet Alex Turner from Arctic Monkeys because I am just completely in love with him so I could say him, but there are so many other options too! Like its a really obvious answer but everyone would want to meet Kurt Cobain (obviously impossible) and personally I would want to hang out with The Killers or Stevie Nicks. I also really got into Haim recently and they seem really cool and fun as well as talented, so that's another one.

Who is one musician or group you wish would make a comeback?
I would love for Oasis to reform! And I wish Lou Reed wasn't dead, I got into him via The Killers because his vocals are on one of the tracks from Sam's Town and his voice and lyrics are brilliant.

Who is one band/artist you’ve never seen live but always wanted to?
I've never seen Arctic Monkeys and I've wanted to for ages, hopefully I will do one day. There are lots I'd like to have seen, and sadly one of the members is usually dead. It would have been amazing to see The Smiths but that's never going to happen either - although I did get to see Johnny Marr play.

What are your top 5 favourite bands? 
Right. At the moment...
The Killers.
Biffy Clyro.
Arctic Monkeys.
Frank Turner & The Sleeping Souls
and probably Twin Atlantic.

Name four or more flawless albums:
The Velvet Underground & Nico (self-titled record).
Rumours by Fleetwood Mac is perfection.
Dookie by Greenday. They played the whole thing straight through at Reading and I remembered how much I loved it when I first heard it aged about thirteen.
Hot Fuss by The Killers is one of the best albums I've ever heard.
I don't know... if its just about a flawless album then The XX's first one is unbelievably beautiful.

How many music related videos/DVDs do you own?
I don't actually know if I own any - I watch stuff online rather than buying it and I would rather buy an album than a book. I watched a documentary about The Rolling Stones about four times last year though and about a week ago I watched one about Jimi Hendrix - I just don't own any of them. And honestly, I'm pretty tempted to read Morrissey's book, although maybe I'll just wait until someone I can borrow it from buys it....

How many concerts/shows have you been to, total?
God, I actually don't know! Okay, the first proper one was The Killers, then last year I saw P!nk, I went to Capital Summertime Ball (because Taylor was playing!), I saw The 1975, Frank Turner, The Pogues and I've seen stuff at Guil-fest like Kids in Glass Houses. And then more recently I've seen Mcfly, Paul Weller, Biffy Clyro, Tall Ships, The First and then I saw loads of bands at Reading in the summer: like Frank Turner again, Greenday, Jake Bugg, Johnny Marr, Foals, Alt-J, and Biffy.

Who have you seen the most live?
Frank Turner wins because I've seen him three times: twice at a festival and once supporting someone else, does that count?. But then I've seen The Killers and Biffy both twice so I don't know, one of those three.

What is your favourite movie soundtrack?
Probably The Perks of Being a Wallflower. But 10 Things I Hate About You, 500 Days of Summer and Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist definitely make the list as well. Good music = good film.

What was your last musical “phase” before you wisened up?
Oh god, I'm so not "wisened up" yet! Hahahaha I still listen to Mcfly and loads of rubbish stuff. But I like so many different bands, I don't really have phases. I'm always discovering something new and it keeps life interesting. I have phases of listening to something a lot and then forgetting it for about a year and then going OH YEAH I LOVE BLONDIE and then re-listen with fresh ears. Its nice.

What’s your “guilty pleasure” that you hate to admit to liking?
I don't hate to admit to anything if I genuinely like it! Probably the one that I would be laughed at the most for is how much I like Kanye West, HE'S REALLY TALENTED, OKAY! Yeezus is a great album, I will stand up for that opinion. There's not too much else really.

Leave a comment if you feel like answering any of these questions yourself - I won't tag anyone but if you enjoyed reading and want to do your own post please tell me because I would love to hear about other people's favourite bands, guilty pleasures and best ever concert experiences.

xoxo

I forgot how much I love Vampire Weekend....

 

the gloves are off, the wisdom teeth are out

what you on about?

I feel it in my bones, I feel it in my bones

 

 

all your diction, dripping with disdain

through the pain I always tell the truth

 

 

we know the fire awaits unbelievers

all of the sinners the same

girl you and I will die unbelievers, bound

to the tracks of the train

 

 

half of me is the gasoline

but the other half's the surf

 

 

nobody knows what the future holds

said its bad enough just getting old

live my life in self-defense, you know

I love the past cause I hate suspense

 

 

 

paper's shot to pieces

the kids don't stand a chance

Did I Ever Mention That I Love John Green?

It happened again. Don't expect me to be capable of using Amazon to order all my Year 13 books without sneaking in something I actually want to read as well... Sorry A2 Politics textbook but you don't really fit that definition. I don't think there's anything I would prefer to arrive in the post on a Saturday when I don't have to get up to do anything than a new (to me) book that I can dive into and read pretty much in one go. This one was no exception. According to Wikipedia Paper Towns is Youtuber John Green's third novel, but I know this is true because I have also read AND LOVED Looking for Alaska and An Abundance of Katherines. And don't even get me started on The Fault In Our Stars. I love this book so much it feels like a tiny piece of my soul.

 

Anyway. Thoughts. It would be wrong to say that Paper Towns is a love story, not because it isn't, but because its so much more than that. Its a growing up story, a coming-of-age tale of life in a small town on the edge of a huge country full of futures. Its about friendship, knowing who you are while accepting that all that could change at any moment. Its about road trips, adventure and mystery. Its about “a lovely, eccentric girl; a mystery that begs to be solved by clever, quirky teens," but also about a boy. A boy who believes in college and jobs and the future and spends his final days of high school questioning all of those beliefs. Paper Towns is all about confronting what is and isn't real. The imaginary towns drawn onto maps that don't really exist are "paper," but so are the suburbs and the communities full of houses that all look the same, containing the cookie-cutter lives of people who grew up accepting "the whole allure of a life rightly lived." There probably isn't anyone alive who hasn't found themselves, at some point, asking these questions and it helps sometimes, when you feel like you're struggling to decipher the point to existence, to read a book like this.

 

I liked it a lot, but I'm kind of struggling to put into words as to why. I think it may be one of those books that you read fast and then put down for a few months while it simmers away in the back of your head until you pick it up again and go Oh I Get This Now. This Is All So True And etc. etc. One part I really liked was the idea that "the metaphors have implications." The way we decide to perceive things does affect the world and the way things are. The whole book felt full of little moments like this; tiny sentences of wisdom, in between the drama and humour and car crashes, after-proms and midnight break-ins of the plot. Drunken chats in empty bathtubs at parties with people you had never spoken to before. Falling asleep on long drives. Maps on bedroom walls, highlighted bits in books, messages to your friends, lying to parents, sneaking out and back in again. All of these things are so recognizable as parts of growing up: everyone can find a memory of their teenage years in here.

 

Much of Paper Towns is structured around this incomprehensible poem by Walt Whitman. I searched through the internet for a bit and eventually I found one quote that I liked from part of Song Of Myself: "My words itch at your ears till you understand them." I might have to let Paper Towns itch at my ears for a while until I get it but I would still definitely recommend reading it. I think its quite rare for books aimed at teenagers and young adults to be about stuff that actually means something. It can feel like if you want to read something that understands the questions that are nagging at you about life or the future or whatever your choices are limited to books written in the past. Obviously there's nothing wrong with this, but equally it would be wrong to limit philosophical questioning and stuff to *old* books. We should be doing it today as well, because sometimes it feels like there's more and more options and more and more to question than ever.

Okay I'm done. If you've read Paper Towns or any other John Green books, what did you think?

“Things change. And friends leave. Life doesn't stop for anybody.”

Today has been a weird kind of day. I dragged myself out of bed, after pressing snooze a few times, went downstairs and ate what I usually eat for breakfast, swallowed my iron supplement tablet with a mug of green tea and got dressed. I found some clean jeans and chose the rest of my outfit from the mess of clothes, make up, books and magazines on the floor of my (not-usually-quite-this) messy bedroom. Messed around with my hair, put some make up on my face, plugged my headphones in, grabbed my bag and left the house. So far, so normal.

 

 

This is where it changes. I walked into school - early for once in my life - and waited around for my appointment. My appointment to send off my UCAS form. My university application, personal statement, results, predicted grades and reference are currently being sent off to the five places I have applied to. It's all done, it's all finally finished and I can have my life back. It may sound a bit dramatic and it probably is, but I have always been someone who doesn't deal very well with even the idea of change. And this change is a big one. This time next year (hopefully/fingers crossed) I will be finally moved out and living at one of my five choices.... and no, I'm not going to tell you what they are! It's safe to say I would be extremely happy getting into any one of them but for various reasons my application had to be sent off early so, along with everyone else from my sixth form in this position, October 15th has been a big deadline hanging over my head. And now, with under 12 hours to go, it's all done and I can stop worrying. I can go back to spending too much time watching the Gilmore Girls, never quite enough doing notes and essays and coursework and dance around my bedroom or go for a run without feeling guilty that I'm not redrafting my application for the millionth time.

 

 

It's amazing to think about how much has changed in the last couple of years. Everything from my favourite books and music, to the people I'm closest with (except for an amazing few who have stayed the same) and the things that interest me most are completely different. It's really hard not to feel like a different person when so little about my life actually feels recognizable to me. When I was fourteen - aside from the fact I was still convinced I could become a ballet dancer, don't laugh too much - I thought I knew exactly what I wanted to do with my life. When I was fifteen I thought having a full fringe and short hair was a good idea and when I was sixteen getting my nose pierced was the scariest thing I had ever done. Luckily that one did turn out to be a good decision, and I hope as I finish up being seventeen the good decisions are starting to outweigh the bad ones.

 

 

My friendships have changed beyond recognition, I no longer spend hours of my life perfecting barre exercises or learning solos and fixing new ribbons onto ballet shoes. I talk far more than I used to, and while my family are unsurprised as they complain that I never shut up at home, teachers in sixth form and people I had never bothered trying to get to know are surprised that I have "come out of my shell." I think change is a good thing now. I get bored if I haven't moved my furniture around in a while, constantly need new posters for my walls and feel that live isn't really worth living if I haven't got something new to look forward to just around the corner.

 

 

There are so many plans I have, so many things I want to do before this year ends. I need a new job for starters, I need to save up some money and finish learning to drive. I really really need a new phone. I need to go to Washington DC in February for my Year 13 Politics trip. I need to see Taylor Swift when the Red Tour comes to London (thank you God, for amazing people who buy me tickets for things!) I need to have a lovely Christmas with my family, the last proper one before there are only two people living in our house all the time. I need to make sure I don't worry about them too much but at the same time, set up Skype on my laptop and come home to visit every now and then. I need to go travelling next summer, I NEED to go to Reading Festival again, I need to find my wristband from this year and put it on my pin board, I need to get a new camera and take so many pictures of all the things and people I want to remember. I need my hair to grow some more, I need a lovely prom and a happy ending to being "in school." I don't particularly want to be eighteen and have to start being an "adult," but it's going to happen anyway and I might as well try and love it.

 

 

I used to say I hated where I had grown up, that it was boring, that I wished I had lived somewhere else but I think I actually might be starting to realise how much I'll miss it. I think my resistance to any kind of change comes from the insecurity I have from being moved around the world so much when I was little and being afraid to put down roots and have to leave again. I don't remember it, of course, I was one and two when we moved from England to Hong Kong and back again and three when we moved to where we live now. But I remember the anxiety I had throughout my childhood of people disappearing, of moving away and never coming back. One of my close friends in primary school moved to Italy, another to the other end of the country. Others I have lost touch with since then, Year Nine friendships break up and people move on, things change and there is nothing I can do about it. I remember waving goodbye to my dad so many times from windows and airports and trains - jobs with constant travel are really good for building abandonment issues into your children.  I remember how much easier that made it to say goodbye to him permanently and how much I hated it, and tried to miss him more, on purpose. I remember all of these things and how they have made me into myself.

 

 

I hate looking through my old pictures because I hate how I used to look. I hate hate hate myself with short hair and I have still not quite gotten over it yet. I'm working on it, they were not happy years for me and maybe that was reflected too poignantly in those photos. But there are one lot I found: pictures from my trip to Italy this last summer. I spent nearly three weeks with my mum and little sister and the in photos from this holiday we look the happiest I've ever seen us. I don't know why this is, a combination of sunshine and exploring in a beautiful place? The amazing food, the friendly people, the feeling of being so far away from anything about home? Whatever it is, I intend to capture that feeling and spend as much as possible of the rest of my life being exactly that happy.

 

If you can't stand the heat...

Summer is almost upon us now. Everyone is beginning to anticipate the hot, lazy days ahead; the year's holiday in the sun. I find myself missing summer all year round, longing for the smells of sun scorched pavements, the concrete almost melting. I miss the heavy feeling of heat on my skin.

I want my hair to be full of salt, sun-bleached and dried into those elusive, genuinely "beachy" waves. I'm craving summery scents: coconut body lotions soothing sun-tanned limbs, the familiar, nostalgic flavour of sunscreen, reminding you of childhood days at the seaside, paddling in the waves and eating ice cream. I want to wear sunglasses everyday, all summer long, simply because the sun is shining so brightly. I'd love a deep tan that isn't out of a bottle, that comes from being outside for hours and hours, for days on end.

I want to not be able to sleep because of the heat. I want to lie under a thin sheet rather than a stifling duvet. I want to find sand between my toes and under my nails, painted a bright, tropical coral or turquoise. I don't want to wear or think about jeans from now until September, if possible. I'll be floating around in maxi dresses and sandals, imagining that I'm already on holiday in the sun. I want to buy a new bikini - something I've done every summer for the past five years. Its becoming a ritual.

Summer. Proper hot, sweltering, blistering heat. I know I live in a country where, if we're lucky, we might get a week of weather like this - and even then it won't compare to the temperatures in a million and one other far away places: from dry, dusty deserts and humid rainforests to crowded, sweaty cities and beaches packed with travellers and tourists everywhere from Brazil and L.A. to Thailand and Australia. I can't help myself; can't stop craving and hoping for a long, boiling-hot, sunshine-filled Indian summer.

I'm not much of a believer in "summer memories" and in fact my recollections of the summer months over the years tend to blur into one, to the point where I don't quite remember which country or which beach I was on in which year, with which haircut. Looking back at the photographs confuses me and I never recognize myself, in the pictures with family and friends, all getting younger and younger as the years go back. I know I'm incredibly lucky in that my family have always loved travelling and booking our holiday is something we look forward to doing all year. I've spent lots of time on beaches and in beautiful cities all over Italy as well as in Spain and many places in England of course and this year I will hopefully be adding a new country or two to my list.



As usual, F. Scott Fitzgerald says
it better than anyone else ever could...

Although my tan will fade away into pale, winter skin, the bright clothes and summery dresses will be put away until next year and I will go back to only ever wearing dark nail polish, I hope to remember the summer of 2013 for a long time. I've waited all year for it to come around: the countdown beginning in March, around the time of my 17th birthday. For anyone of my age, this will be our last ever summer with a back-to-school feeling waiting for us in September, infusing the holiday with regret before it has even begun. This time next year we'll hopefully be looking forward to going off to universities, to travelling or starting exciting new jobs in the somehow very scary "real world." I'm going to enjoy every single moment of this almost-last summer, I don't want to wish away a second.

x

My love for magazines...

I have a confession to make. While as someone hoping to do a degree in English Literature, if she manages to pass her A-levels, and someone who started a blog to have somewhere to write about all the movies she (supposedly) watches, you might assume that reading a book or watching When Harry Met Sally for the sixth time would be quite high up on my list of things to waste my time doing. However, for the last two weeks all I have wanted to do - every time I finish an exam - is get home and read a magazine. I think they're starting to recognise me in my local shop now because every time I go in its either for chocolate - who can possibly revise without chocolate, be serious? - or Elle, Vogue, Company, or any other magazine I can find.

Anything with glossy pages, shiny adverts, beautiful pictures. I want interviews with Cara Delevingue, or Kate Moss, fashion editorials of clothes inspired by The Great Gatsby, beaded flapper dresses, headbands, feathers. I want to read about what eyshadow I should be buying, even if it costs £19 rather than £2.50, and I have only set foot into Mac once and left because the 500 different shades of lipstick scared me. I want to tear out pictures of models in fairy-tale, princess dresses, in photo shoots set in snowy woodlands to stick to my bedroom walls.

I want free samples of foundations and moisturisers I would never actually buy, glued between pages of adverts and articles about hair products. I want the free gift that you get with the magazine - whether its a Benefit mascara or a travel size conditioner that smells of coconut and summer.

I love reading about the people who live the lives we would all secretly love to have. The parties on millionaires yachts, holidays to glamorous islands with secret beaches, St Barts, the Caribbean, Ibiza and Hawaii. You can almost imagine yourself to be lying in the sunshine, picturing blue skies and golden sands, enjoying a gentle breeze from the ocean and the palm trees, drinking cocktails and wearing a sparkling designer bikini and sunglasses that don't come from Primark.

There's nothing wrong with a bit of escapism, especially in this grey English excuse for a summer.

Literally nothing is making me happier right now than the fact that in about three hours my last exam will be over.