The 365th Day...

I love New Years. Everything about it, from the evening and night before, to the clock striking midnight and the start of the first "day" of the next year- just everything. It's fair to say I look forward to it with easily equal (if not more) anticipation as for the C-word that comes at this time of year as well. Of course, why wouldn't I? Because taking away the turkey (that poor, pescetarian little me can't eat anyway...) and the presents (that, let's face it, aren't the point anyway,) and the family arguments, excessive chocolate consumption and drinking at 10am, you're left with a national holiday that - to be honest - I don't think is anywhere near as good as New Year's Eve.

 

 

I love - clichéd and hated though this is - the feeling of a clean slate. A new year; a fresh start; a blank and empty page ready to be filled up with all the stuff that's going to happen to you over the next months and weeks. This year could be the best one yet - you can make it whatever was lacking from the last, make it full of amazing experiences and say yes to everything. You could finally quit smoking, start running or taking more photos or spend more time with your family or be nicer to everyone around you. Whatever you decide to do, the possibilities are endless and potentially life-changing. I love making my resolutions for the months ahead - as well as looking back at last years, reflecting on what I made happen, the things that were good ideas as well as the ones that turned out to be better off forgotten about. Seeing how much has changed in a whole year can be terrifying - but also a reminder of how far you've come; the things you achieved that would have seemed impossible only 52 (sometimes very long) weeks ago. Some years you feel like a completely different person, a whole new version of yourself, and other December 31sts you feel exactly the same.

 

 

I love celebrating NYE with my family, friends and whoever else turns up at our house. We always end up having a traditional *everyone just gets pissed* type of party with small children asleep on sofas, adults dancing in the living room and a kitchen full of bottles and glasses to clear up the next morning. When me and my sister were little our favourite thing was being allowed to stay up past midnight for once, and even now I'm older I still prefer "our" New Years to going out anywhere else. I love the countdown, the excitement, watching the fireworks at midnight and hugging everyone in the room. I love being dragged into a circle of my family, being forced to sing something Scottish that after 18 years I'm sure I still don't know the words to. These days, I even don't mind the first hangover of the year either...

 

 

So, whether its your favourite night or the one you dread most of all; if you were out for the night, watching fireworks in Edinburgh or London or someone's back garden or curled up on the sofa, drink in hand watching Jools Holland (this is how I always secretly suspected my dad would prefer it to be...) I hope you had a very happy New Year's Eve and a lovely first day of January.. *cough, Sherlock...*. It may be known as "amateur night," the worst one of the year to go out on, you may simply long for it to be over and just go to bed and sleep through it, but however you chose to spend it, to celebrate or endure the start of 2014, I hope you enjoyed it and the next 364 days to go.

 

Oh, and this is the best New Years-y song in existence. xxx

 

Lets all laugh at the bands I like.....

So my friend Robyn wants me to answer some question about my music taste... which is obviously because it's so great and not at all because she wants to laugh at me. I don't see anything wrong with the fact that I love Mcfly, The Killers and (not even that secretly...) Kanye West, along with the Arctic Monkeys, Biffy Clyro and Nirvana. I'm just all about encouraging diversity... mainly on my iPod, and yes, I did just put it on shuffle and the first song that came on was Starlight, by Taylor Swift. What do you mean you don't like that song...?!?!

Anyway...

Which bands/artist do you own the most albums by?
I own everything recorded by The Killers and I think all the Biffy Clyro albums as well. I also have a whole lot of Taylor Swift OF COURSE. As well as that I have tons of my dad's music - so basically a lot of Oasis and Bruce Springsteen albums. I told you it was diverse...

What was the last song you listened to?
I'm writing this while watching the Gilmore Girls, but the last thing I listened to was either Vampire Weekend's album Modern Vampires of the City, Boys in Books, by Carrie Hope Fletcher or a band called Moose Blood that I discovered the other day. Someone I follow on twitter posted a song by them and I listened and fell in love with the lyrics....

I guess I'll never know why you closed the window,
Start reading Hemingway, start drinking cups of Earl Grey
then I guess maybe one day.. I'll be yours forever....

What’s in your CD player right now?
I don't have a CD player anymore - who does?! - but I used to and I miss it to be honest. I still own loads of CDs and mostly I just cut up the sleeves to add to my wall of posters and tickets. The last thing I played from my iPod speakers was The Velvet Underground & Nico's debut album, from 1967.

What was the last show you attended?
The last concert I saw was Biffy Clyro who played a show in my town at G-live on October 28th. It was amazing, the band were incredible, the crowd were insane, I crowd surfed for the second time and basically just had a great night. They are such an good band live, definitely see them if you ever get a chance to.

What was the greatest show you’ve ever been to?
That's a really hard question because every show I've been to was amazing at the time. I think the best one ever was when I saw The Killers at the O2 in 2012 with my best friend. My mum came to it with us - because we share our amazing taste in bands - and her dad bought us the tickets and I have honestly never been so excited for anything in my life. We had seats right up high but even though the arena is huge, the atmosphere was fantastic. We screamed and danced to every song and even though the tour was for their Battle Born album, they played tons of their old stuff and loads of my favourite songs. I think they started with Mr Brightside and from start to finish it was the loudest show I've ever seen, despite how far away we were. In fact I think my ears are still ringing just thinking about it. I'm wearing the tour t-shirt right now. Okay, definitely the best show I've seen. A close second was when I went to Mcfly, I'm not joking: I laughed, I cried, I danced and it was fab.

 
What’s the worst show you’ve ever been to?
Hmm, its either the time I ended up seeing a really terrible scream band for reasons I do not remember, possibly temporary insanity. Anyway it was awful and we ended up leaving mid-way through... trust me, we didn't miss much. Or it was one of the various shows I've seen with my family at the music festival in the tiny town where my grandparents live. Think of granddads with beards and banjos, and although its fun to go and see my cousins and go to the beach, its not exactly my idea of musical heaven.

What’s the most musically involved you have ever been?
I used to do dance and performing arts (before I became a teenager and realised I should never be seen singing in public EVER) and we used to do loads of shows and at the time it was really fun. I was in Annie as a little orphan kid, a show called "Simply The Best!" (don't even ask..) and one for my dance school's 25th anniversary celebration. Try not to laugh too much but one time we had to wear clown outfits.... while singing. I know, I know, I was like twelve at the time, its all in the past.

What show are you looking forward to?
I'm just about dying of excitement to see Taylor Swift in February on the Red Tour. I'm planning on buying a t-shirt, a poster, any other merch I can get my hands on, dancing like a crazy fan-girl, taking a million and one pictures, completely freaking out and singing along to every song.

What is your favourite band shirt?
Either my Killers t-shirt which is beautiful and really soft and lovely or my gorgeous new Twin Atlantic t-shirt. I have a thing for Scottish bands at the moment and I saw them at Reading Festival this year. They did a really good set, despite it being a bit rainy and I ordered the t-shirt online, rather than spend my train fare home buying it at the festival, although trust me, I was tempted to. The only other one I have is Nirvana, but its too big for me and doesn't have memories attached to it of actually experiencing the band. It is pretty though!

What musician would you like to hang out with for a day?
I would love love love to meet Alex Turner from Arctic Monkeys because I am just completely in love with him so I could say him, but there are so many other options too! Like its a really obvious answer but everyone would want to meet Kurt Cobain (obviously impossible) and personally I would want to hang out with The Killers or Stevie Nicks. I also really got into Haim recently and they seem really cool and fun as well as talented, so that's another one.

Who is one musician or group you wish would make a comeback?
I would love for Oasis to reform! And I wish Lou Reed wasn't dead, I got into him via The Killers because his vocals are on one of the tracks from Sam's Town and his voice and lyrics are brilliant.

Who is one band/artist you’ve never seen live but always wanted to?
I've never seen Arctic Monkeys and I've wanted to for ages, hopefully I will do one day. There are lots I'd like to have seen, and sadly one of the members is usually dead. It would have been amazing to see The Smiths but that's never going to happen either - although I did get to see Johnny Marr play.

What are your top 5 favourite bands? 
Right. At the moment...
The Killers.
Biffy Clyro.
Arctic Monkeys.
Frank Turner & The Sleeping Souls
and probably Twin Atlantic.

Name four or more flawless albums:
The Velvet Underground & Nico (self-titled record).
Rumours by Fleetwood Mac is perfection.
Dookie by Greenday. They played the whole thing straight through at Reading and I remembered how much I loved it when I first heard it aged about thirteen.
Hot Fuss by The Killers is one of the best albums I've ever heard.
I don't know... if its just about a flawless album then The XX's first one is unbelievably beautiful.

How many music related videos/DVDs do you own?
I don't actually know if I own any - I watch stuff online rather than buying it and I would rather buy an album than a book. I watched a documentary about The Rolling Stones about four times last year though and about a week ago I watched one about Jimi Hendrix - I just don't own any of them. And honestly, I'm pretty tempted to read Morrissey's book, although maybe I'll just wait until someone I can borrow it from buys it....

How many concerts/shows have you been to, total?
God, I actually don't know! Okay, the first proper one was The Killers, then last year I saw P!nk, I went to Capital Summertime Ball (because Taylor was playing!), I saw The 1975, Frank Turner, The Pogues and I've seen stuff at Guil-fest like Kids in Glass Houses. And then more recently I've seen Mcfly, Paul Weller, Biffy Clyro, Tall Ships, The First and then I saw loads of bands at Reading in the summer: like Frank Turner again, Greenday, Jake Bugg, Johnny Marr, Foals, Alt-J, and Biffy.

Who have you seen the most live?
Frank Turner wins because I've seen him three times: twice at a festival and once supporting someone else, does that count?. But then I've seen The Killers and Biffy both twice so I don't know, one of those three.

What is your favourite movie soundtrack?
Probably The Perks of Being a Wallflower. But 10 Things I Hate About You, 500 Days of Summer and Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist definitely make the list as well. Good music = good film.

What was your last musical “phase” before you wisened up?
Oh god, I'm so not "wisened up" yet! Hahahaha I still listen to Mcfly and loads of rubbish stuff. But I like so many different bands, I don't really have phases. I'm always discovering something new and it keeps life interesting. I have phases of listening to something a lot and then forgetting it for about a year and then going OH YEAH I LOVE BLONDIE and then re-listen with fresh ears. Its nice.

What’s your “guilty pleasure” that you hate to admit to liking?
I don't hate to admit to anything if I genuinely like it! Probably the one that I would be laughed at the most for is how much I like Kanye West, HE'S REALLY TALENTED, OKAY! Yeezus is a great album, I will stand up for that opinion. There's not too much else really.

Leave a comment if you feel like answering any of these questions yourself - I won't tag anyone but if you enjoyed reading and want to do your own post please tell me because I would love to hear about other people's favourite bands, guilty pleasures and best ever concert experiences.

xoxo

Some lovely little questions...

Ages ago I was tagged in one of those chain blog award things by another Jessica. So thank you Jess - and have a look at her blog because she does some amazing artwork! I've finally got round to writing the post - because who doesn't love answering some questions about themselves...?

The rules of this tag are:
1.The tagged/nominated blogs have to have under 200 followers.
2.Tag the blog that nominated you.
3.Tell the people you tag so they can respond.

And here are my answers.........



1. What inspired you to start a blog?

I was inspired to begin blogging after reading other people's blogs, which I know is a really boring response. It was also because I love writing and at the time I wasn't really that into using Facebook or Twitter so it was sort of a way to create a space for me to be creative and talk about things I was into, which I didn't really do in any other way on the internet at the time I started it.

2. If you could go back to any era for a day which time era would you go to?

I would visit the late 1960s and either go to London and see the Rolling Stones playing or I would want to go to one of the huge music festivals in America, either Monterey Pop or Woodstock. Honestly if I had a time machine seeing bands would be the only reason I would use it; the idea of mucking up the course of human history by accident really freaks me out and as much as we'd all like to think that *killing Hitler* (or insert other mass murderer etc.) would be a good thing, we can never know what effect changing things would have - it could be worse after all and that really scares me.

3. Cats or Dogs?

I'm not much of a fan of either but if forced to pick I'd say cat. I can't handle the level of emotional commitment a dog needs; sums up my life really.

4. What is your must have clothing item for Autumn?

A coat? Does that even count? I don't know really, I have some lovely new ankle boots but I can't walk properly in them and they're too pretty to take outside in the rain and puddles and ruin, so I'll go for my nice warm coat. That or a really snuggly jumper.



5. What is your favourite book?

Ugh so many! The Harry Potter books are probably my all time favourites as my entire childhood is measured in terms of waiting for the next books and films to come out. There are so many quotes that I love and the whole series means so much to me. One of my favourite places in the whole world is the Elephant Café in Edinburgh where J K Rowling wrote, and where I insisted on spending ages in when I visited Scotland! But I also love anything by John Green, The Perks of Being A Wallflower, The Great Gatsby, ummmm The Book Thief and On The Road are also two of my favourites, there are just far too many really! And don't mention I Capture The Castle to me and expect me not to get emotional... I sometimes think I prefer that book to reality.





6.What is your dream job?

A writer. Can you tell?

 

7. Is there anything you do that other people find weird?

I tend to be quite quiet... that is until you get to know me well. I can bend my thumbs back at a weird angle, apart from that I don't know, can't think of that many things. Try asking my friends.... they may have a different answer.

8. If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be?

Oh My God, so many places. Firstly, its obviously a huge cliché, but New York City. Then Paris, anywhere in Italy, Australia, India.... there are so many millions of places I want to go to, to be honest. I'm a bit in love with Scotland as so many of my favourite bands are from there, and there are also random places that I just want to travel to for no particular reason - like a particular lake in Russia, for example, or Seattle in America, and I also really want to go back to Poland again. Finally if I really could only pick one place it would have to be somewhere in Asia - maybe Japan, China or Thailand - because I lived in Hong King when I was little and have always wanted to go back there.

9. Must have make-up item?

I have to say eyeliner comes close, I love doing pretty winged or really messy smudgy eyes, but if you told me I could only use one make up item ever again it would be lip balm. My pet hate is having chapped lips and I'm constantly smearing on different flavours; my favourite at the moment is the Body Shop Spiced Vanilla which tastes exactly like Christmas. However, I probably couldn't live for long without most of my make up bag to be honest.

10. Favourite quote?

My current favourite quote is this one. I just think it makes a lot of sense and makes me feel better about being permanently in a bad mood about something.



 

Hopefully you enjoyed reading this post, a bit different from the usual really. I'm going to ask Lucy and Robyn to answer the same questions I was asked (because I'm too lazy to think up more but ssshhh.....)

 

xoxo

Friday Nights & Sunday Dinners

Doing things regularly. It's the perfect plot device, ensuring drama on a weekly basis and making sure there's always something to talk about. From the Gilmore Girls (MY MOST FAVOURITE THING EVER), having "Friday night dinners" at their grandparents' house every week - honestly barely an episode of that show goes by without one - to Olivia Pope's Sunday catch-ups with her dad (not all that much more scary than a meal with Emily Gilmore if you ask me...) many shows rely on the regularity and familiarity of ritual, of entrenched expectations to allow the pace to continue.

But in real life? Not so much. Apart from religious, borderline obsessive watching of my favourite TV shows, there is very little I'm capable of doing routinely. I marvel at Youtubers who are able to promise they "post new videos every Wednesday," or, god knows how, even daily. I can't stomach the idea of a nine-to-five job, a boring career, the thought of commitment to a life lived in one place. As cute as Tom and Giovanna Fletcher's lives are, from the wedding speech and now the pumpkin baby announcement video, the idea following the pattern of job, marriage, family, etc. etc. literally makes me feel ill. I can't really picture how I want my life to look in the future, especially as I barely even have a handle on what I'm supposed to be doing next week.

Sometimes its all I can do to remember to eat meals at the "normal" time of day. Is there anything really wrong with eating cereal for dinner or ice cream for breakfast? - not on my planet. I don't know whether its that I get bored easily or just that my daily life is really uninteresting, but when days go by, each one incredibly similar to the last, I start feeling trapped. And then I feel the need to go and do something crazy, like get something else pierced, run off to Reading Festival with a weeks notice, quit my job or get seriously behind with my school work only to panic, sit up until two am doing an essay and get to my 8.30 am history lesson just to realise I answered the wrong question.

I don't handle boredom well and I do admit to having a very low threshold for enduring things I don't want to do. An allergy, an intolerance, or just a severe distaste. I'll sit there, roll my eyes, force myself to get through another Thursday that will be exactly the same as the one before, and exactly the same as the one in another seven days time. My worst nightmare is predictability and the only thing I like less than knowing I'm going to be living right where I am now for the next year, sleeping in the same bed I've had since I was a child, is that I still don't know where I'm moving to. All I want to do right now is escape off round the world, without any idea when I'll be back.

Many of my friends are experiencing this same feeling as I am - probably they're capable of handling it slightly better than I am. To be honest, I think its perfectly common around age 17 to 18 to suddenly realise your whole life is ahead of you and the pressure to know what to do with it can feel completely overwhelming. Its like staring out into uncharted water, or off the edge of a cliff into a massive abyss ominously labelled: Your Future. "What happens now?" we all think. Since when do we make the decisions, decide the course of our own lives. I didn't sign up for this - no one asked me if I wanted to be born and now there's potentially eighty more years of this bulls*** that I have to plan out? (You can see why I feel other people are dealing with this collective emotional crisis a bit more maturely...)

So once I'm done with my ironically timed toddler-style tantrum about the fact I exist, I had better get on and start making some choices. Smart, useful ones that might actually get me somewhere. Not something I'm famous for being great at, but its probably time to start giving it a go. To do some preparation for the entrance exam I have to take, to sit down and deal with the mountains of work I need to do, to stop helplessly refreshing the UCAS track page in the hope it will tell me what to do with my life. If you feel yourself getting into this state (no judgement here, if you've made it this far you can tell that I am clearly losing the plot anyway...) I have one piece of advice for you. Watch Danisnotonfire's videos on this topic, and have a cup of tea. If this doesn't make you feel even slightly better you are probably in need of professional help that I am in no way qualified to give.

Hugs. We'll all get through this eventually xoxo

“Things change. And friends leave. Life doesn't stop for anybody.”

Today has been a weird kind of day. I dragged myself out of bed, after pressing snooze a few times, went downstairs and ate what I usually eat for breakfast, swallowed my iron supplement tablet with a mug of green tea and got dressed. I found some clean jeans and chose the rest of my outfit from the mess of clothes, make up, books and magazines on the floor of my (not-usually-quite-this) messy bedroom. Messed around with my hair, put some make up on my face, plugged my headphones in, grabbed my bag and left the house. So far, so normal.

 

 

This is where it changes. I walked into school - early for once in my life - and waited around for my appointment. My appointment to send off my UCAS form. My university application, personal statement, results, predicted grades and reference are currently being sent off to the five places I have applied to. It's all done, it's all finally finished and I can have my life back. It may sound a bit dramatic and it probably is, but I have always been someone who doesn't deal very well with even the idea of change. And this change is a big one. This time next year (hopefully/fingers crossed) I will be finally moved out and living at one of my five choices.... and no, I'm not going to tell you what they are! It's safe to say I would be extremely happy getting into any one of them but for various reasons my application had to be sent off early so, along with everyone else from my sixth form in this position, October 15th has been a big deadline hanging over my head. And now, with under 12 hours to go, it's all done and I can stop worrying. I can go back to spending too much time watching the Gilmore Girls, never quite enough doing notes and essays and coursework and dance around my bedroom or go for a run without feeling guilty that I'm not redrafting my application for the millionth time.

 

 

It's amazing to think about how much has changed in the last couple of years. Everything from my favourite books and music, to the people I'm closest with (except for an amazing few who have stayed the same) and the things that interest me most are completely different. It's really hard not to feel like a different person when so little about my life actually feels recognizable to me. When I was fourteen - aside from the fact I was still convinced I could become a ballet dancer, don't laugh too much - I thought I knew exactly what I wanted to do with my life. When I was fifteen I thought having a full fringe and short hair was a good idea and when I was sixteen getting my nose pierced was the scariest thing I had ever done. Luckily that one did turn out to be a good decision, and I hope as I finish up being seventeen the good decisions are starting to outweigh the bad ones.

 

 

My friendships have changed beyond recognition, I no longer spend hours of my life perfecting barre exercises or learning solos and fixing new ribbons onto ballet shoes. I talk far more than I used to, and while my family are unsurprised as they complain that I never shut up at home, teachers in sixth form and people I had never bothered trying to get to know are surprised that I have "come out of my shell." I think change is a good thing now. I get bored if I haven't moved my furniture around in a while, constantly need new posters for my walls and feel that live isn't really worth living if I haven't got something new to look forward to just around the corner.

 

 

There are so many plans I have, so many things I want to do before this year ends. I need a new job for starters, I need to save up some money and finish learning to drive. I really really need a new phone. I need to go to Washington DC in February for my Year 13 Politics trip. I need to see Taylor Swift when the Red Tour comes to London (thank you God, for amazing people who buy me tickets for things!) I need to have a lovely Christmas with my family, the last proper one before there are only two people living in our house all the time. I need to make sure I don't worry about them too much but at the same time, set up Skype on my laptop and come home to visit every now and then. I need to go travelling next summer, I NEED to go to Reading Festival again, I need to find my wristband from this year and put it on my pin board, I need to get a new camera and take so many pictures of all the things and people I want to remember. I need my hair to grow some more, I need a lovely prom and a happy ending to being "in school." I don't particularly want to be eighteen and have to start being an "adult," but it's going to happen anyway and I might as well try and love it.

 

 

I used to say I hated where I had grown up, that it was boring, that I wished I had lived somewhere else but I think I actually might be starting to realise how much I'll miss it. I think my resistance to any kind of change comes from the insecurity I have from being moved around the world so much when I was little and being afraid to put down roots and have to leave again. I don't remember it, of course, I was one and two when we moved from England to Hong Kong and back again and three when we moved to where we live now. But I remember the anxiety I had throughout my childhood of people disappearing, of moving away and never coming back. One of my close friends in primary school moved to Italy, another to the other end of the country. Others I have lost touch with since then, Year Nine friendships break up and people move on, things change and there is nothing I can do about it. I remember waving goodbye to my dad so many times from windows and airports and trains - jobs with constant travel are really good for building abandonment issues into your children.  I remember how much easier that made it to say goodbye to him permanently and how much I hated it, and tried to miss him more, on purpose. I remember all of these things and how they have made me into myself.

 

 

I hate looking through my old pictures because I hate how I used to look. I hate hate hate myself with short hair and I have still not quite gotten over it yet. I'm working on it, they were not happy years for me and maybe that was reflected too poignantly in those photos. But there are one lot I found: pictures from my trip to Italy this last summer. I spent nearly three weeks with my mum and little sister and the in photos from this holiday we look the happiest I've ever seen us. I don't know why this is, a combination of sunshine and exploring in a beautiful place? The amazing food, the friendly people, the feeling of being so far away from anything about home? Whatever it is, I intend to capture that feeling and spend as much as possible of the rest of my life being exactly that happy.

 

Who am I?

It is crazy really, this pressure put on everyone to define exactly who they are. What you makes you unique, special, different from the hundreds of other people with the same age or hair colour or even who share your name?

Is it the bands you listen to and the albums you buy? The concerts you attend and the posters you display on your bedroom walls - telling anyone who comes in: This is me, this is what I like, therefore this is who I am.

Is it the books you read, films you watch or TV you like? Is it the characters you care about or the movie adaptations you slate for being "nowhere near as good as the book!"

Is it the social media you use - Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat, the list soon to be never ending? The photos you share, the things you retweet, the blog you write too infrequently?

Is it your friends, the memories you share and the things you have in common? Is it your family, your interests, pets, favourite colours and smells, way you drink your tea or coffee or whether you drink it at all? Or whether you drink or smoke, whether you love going out or prefer staying in, whether you are one of the loud, chatty ones, or the one they always say "needs to speak up a bit more?"

Is it whether you like science and numbers or would rather be reading and writing? Is it if you want to go to university, or get a job or start a family or have no idea at all?

Is it all of these things? All of them and the many millions more that go into making up a person: a completely unique individual. Exactly like everyone else - with skin and lungs and legs and eyes - but at the same time a total original, never again to be repeated genetic fluke.

What is about society that insists we have to know the answers to all of these questions. What if the choices you make change, the stuff you used to love no longer makes you happy? Have you changed who you are? Why do I have to define who I am right now, when I and everyone I know are all still trying to work it out?

Reality TV

We all love it. It seems that they're more and more of our favourite TV shows, from the ones we curl up on the sofa to watch in the evening, to the ones we make the effort to catch up with online or even have on over breakfast in the mornings, while we're drinking coffee or doing our hair.

"Reality TV is morphine, give me that now, let me ease the pain."

From the glamorous lifestyles of The Real Housewives and the Kardashians to the more down-to-earth British reality shows such as Jeremy Kyle, The Only Way Is Essex and even the most recent one to appear on our screens: Educating Yorkshire, it seems that on every channel there are "real" people and "real" events for our entertainment. I don't know anyone who doesn't watch some form of reality show and I'm willing to bet you don't either. But just how "real" are these shows we seem to love so much? Are they actually nothing more than harmless entertainment, something funny to laugh over with friends or maybe just less depressing to have on in the background than the news?

I find it strange realising the window they give you onto someone's life - however many "scenes are created for your entertainment," essentially you are watching another person, just like you or me, living their day-to-day existence. And I don't know about you, but I would seriously struggle having cameras following me around. The silly things that slip out of your mouth without thinking; the times you trip up, hoping no one notices; awkward moments, arguments, things you wish you could take back - all documented and then broadcast for the whole world to see? I think it would be enough to make me never want to leave my house again.

What about those things that are - and should probably stay - private? Relationships, family
problems, illnesses, addictions? The plots of most reality shows centre around events like these: after all we're all human and stories and drama are what bring us together. But the difference between relating to a fictional character in a book or identifying and empathising with a situation in a film or TV drama is something we shouldn't ignore. It's cathartic to cry or to feel the emotions of a situation - but when it's someone's real life we're talking about, should it really be unfolding in the public eye?

I've been watching Educating Yorkshire recently, and in between laughing at my own memories of being in Years 7 to 11 and enjoying the funny moments on the show - including the girl that shaved her eyebrows off - I was really surprised by one of the episodes that dealt with the subject of a boy whose brother had suddenly died. I've been in a situation not unlike this myself and it was hard enough coping with the emotions and stress caused by a family member passing away on top of the normal issues of being a teenager and being in school everyday, trying to study for exams, cope with problems with friends and so on. I can remember leaving school at the end of the day, just desperate to get home and not have to deal with other people, or think about anything, for literally months.

I still feel like this now sometimes, although its far more under control than it was, but I genuinely cannot imagine how hard it would have been to be in this situation knowing it was being used as material for TV, for other people to watch and see how much you were struggling. I felt so awful watching it, knowing exactly how hard it is to get through even one day sometimes, let alone thinking into the future, as it feels like we're constantly asked to do at school.

Sometimes I think this is the main problem in our society. We're obsessed with "fame" and "celebrities" and entire industries are formed around building people up into stars and success stories and then tearing them down the minute we realise they aren't perfect. No wonder people rely on drugs or drinking to cope with the pressure and, to be honest, probably just to be numb enough to it all to be able to function. And really, its one thing when its someone who has actually signed up for a career in the public eye, but it begins to get a whole lot more complicated when we all want our five minutes of fame; we all want hundreds of twitter and instagram followers, reading our every thought and seeing all the photos we share with the world.

Where do you draw the line over what stays personal?

I admit this may have gone into a bit of a random direction, especially as this really isn't the kind of thing I normally write about and honestly, my Real Housewives addiction probably isn't going to end any time soon but I do think is something important to talk about. What do you think? Leave me a comment to tell me your opinion, or am I the one only one worrying about this...?